It feels like ages since I been here, sorry I’ve been away for so long. It’s not like I haven’t had plenty to put down and share with you guys, I guess it’s just been a lack of self-motivation. I am still fighting the good fight against myself, pushing myself to sit and write, to read, to take in a movie or television show that inspires me. You know basically enjoy life a little.
Lately, I’ve been sitting down and thinks what does it truly mean to be a writer. What is the genetic make up of those that came before? How does all the unique puzzle pieces of a writer’s mind truly fit together, to allow the production of magical genius.
The answer: I don’t have a damn clue! All I know is that I am a writer, I am a poet, and an author. I am what I am, because words are the driving force that keeps me moving. Each letter is a tiny piece to a larger puzzle known as me; simple, crazy, loving, daring, passionate, a mother, a wife, a student, inspirations, and creativity.
I am a writer, because I was born that way. I am a writer, because I was taught the skills to put together the jumbled mess of scenes that play over and over in my mind. I am a writer, because I continue to learn to writer better. I am a writer, because I write and I have so much to say.
With all that being said I have learned one very important lesson. It’s not that I can’t write, it’s that I’m pushing to hard for perfection, I’m taking the craft to serious and forgetting the time when I wrote for the love of seeing how the words flowed across the page.
I am an endless abundance of beautifully constructed magic known as words, but I will not be able to let my cup overflow until I stop trying to write for others and remember the majestic feeling of writing for myself, for the love of writing, and for the need to let the word fly into the heavens.
Yes I want the world to share in this joy that I call writing, but I can not push it on anyone, if I am unable to embrace my own words how can I truly expect anyone to.
I decided to stop trying to write, stop beating myself up for not writing, and to stop taking my writing so serious. I will work on simple writing, understanding that some days are better than others, and loving every word and every phrase even when they don’t seem to make sense.
I will once again truly love the gift that I have and the thing that I do. I will embrace this gift, learn more about it and simple experience it.
I have tons left to say and I have so much time and no time at all to say it. So for now on I will just say it, everything from the simplest words to the most complex of sentences; I will just say it.
Keep writing, keep reading, keep pushing.